what i really want...?

now im blogging on my notepad on my pc. shyte!
blogger is down, streamyx is so#@$*-ed up, connection's snailing.

this holiday seem so dead. i couldn't go out n enjoy my hols coz my parents need me at home to run errands and take care of my lil bro. he is such a brat!
i cant complain can't i? grandpa n grandma's ill, grand-aunt had cancer... this is all i can do. stay at home, if this is what they want, i have ntg to complain. pls pray for them...

its raining here right now, for the second time, sigh...such gloomy day.
yesterday i got to know that 2 of my coursemate in MMU are goin to further their studies in Romania n San Francisco. Suddenly, there are so many things that struck my mind.
One by one, going away, quiting MMU to persue what they really want.
For a minute i sat down and started thinking. Is this what i really want??? I dont regret taking this course, i know im on the right track, definitely the right field. its just that i find the university that im studying right now doesnt have the specific course that i want! i dont think in my country they will ever offer this course. i wana go to a school of arts n craft. it's just my interest. i wish i had more money to study.

apart from that, that two friends that i've mention are actuali together, they are a couple . they are gonna be seperated for a few years. a few years, not a few months. like what they said, "what is a few years compared to a lifetime". that line really made a very big impact on me. its true infact, its so damn true.

if there is an oppurtunity for me to study in canada, i will go. and if one day jason wants to go sumwhere realli far to study visual effects, i would let him go. will just stay here n wait for his return.

there is so many things i want in life, that i know i can never get them all.im gonna work off my ass, and fulfil ass as much goals as i can, ontop of that, give my children the best and finest things in life.